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Mothers and daughters

"I want to see that movie you blogged about," says mother. She is referring to The Shape of Water.
"Sure, I'll see it again. Let's go on Sunday."
Sunday arrives...
"Shall I book the tickets for this evening?" I ask her.
"I am not sure. It has some creature or animal right? I think that will give me the creeps. But you loved the movie so I am confused."
"It's a 2-hr movie mom, not a life altering decision. Do you want to see it?"
"But, what if I don't like it?"
"Aargh! Forget it." I roll my eyes and stomp off.

My mother is the one person who can take me through the entire gamut from annoyed grunts to angry rants to heart-to-heart confidences, all in one day. There is much said about father-son relationships possibly because the mother is always trying to bridge it. But when it comes to mothers and daughters, they are left to sort it out themselves. They scream and shout and then hug and make up only to start it all over again the next day.

This week at the movies, the focus is on two films that highlight the mother-daughter relationship.

Three Billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri tells the story of a mother in search of justice for her daughter. Mildred Hayes' daughter is raped and burnt alive. When months pass by without the police making any headway into solving the case, Mildred decides to do something about it. She rents the three billboards along the road that goes past her house and leads into Ebbing. 'Raped while dying' 'And still no arrests?' 'How come, Chief Willoughby?'...they say. The billboards unsettle this nondescript town in suburban America. Besides Mildred, the story follows the individual back stories of Willoughby and the very dense Officer Dixon.

No character in Three Billboards is black or white...be it rogue cop Dixon or protagonist Mildred. Each one takes on different shades of grey as the story moves. Dixon is racist and a homophobe but devoted to his boss Willoughby. Mildred is fighting for justice but does not hesitate to drill a hole through the dentist's finger or knee her son's schoolmates in the crotch.

Initially, it seems odd that Mildred seems to be more focussed on revenging the town's cops rather than finding her daughter's murderer. A flashback scene throws light on this obsession.
"It'll serve you right if I get raped on that deserted road," her daughter yells at her after Mildred refuses to let her take her car.
"I hope you do,"  Mildred shouts back.
Mildred's guilt at having failed to protect her daughter is evident. There is no evidence that leads to a killer and Mildred turns her guilt into rage to wards the cops who she deems has failed her daughter and herself.

****

The next watch is Ladybird. The movie opens with a scene of Christine and her mother, Marion, sleeping side by side on a bed. In the next scene they are in the car driving home chatting. As the chat veers from the usual to Christine's (or Ladybird, as she prefers to call herself) college admissions the tension between the mother-daughter simmers to the surface. Ladybird wants to apply to study art at some of the top colleges in the country. Her mother wants her to aim for something more suitable for her both academically and financially. Things escalate quickly, and the next thing we know Ladybird has opened the door of the moving car and hurled herself out.

Ladybird follows the story of the protagonist as she navigates her final year at school. There are many problems to tackle besides college applications...boyfriends and sex, old friendships and fitting in, grades and exams. And to top it all a mother who as far as Ladybird is concerned is constantly at loggerheads with her. L is a dreamer, willing to take the leap and trust that wings will sprout. Her mother has led a tough life and has figured that the best way for her to keep her family afloat is to put her head down and work hard.

The reason for the friction between the mother and daughter is that they have identical personalities but diametrically opposite ideologies. Both have strong-willed, opinionated voices which cannot accept the other's perspective. As the story unfurls towards a feel good end, one is happy that the two have found some peace but one knows that it is temporary. And after the end credits roll, they will be back at each other for something or the other....but, that's okay because mother-daughter relationships? They are complicated.

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